Katie Tenney

I think I've heard every pick-up line ever conceived in the minds of man.

It's mind-boggling.

I've had to keep a journal to remember them all, just to make sure of it when I hear a new one.

Off the top of my head, I can only ever remember a few:

I've lost my phone number, can I have yours?

Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date instead?

Are you an angel? 'Cause I want your phone number (one of my personal favorites).

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning."

Truly, they were just sad now.

I guess that, in being the typical sort of girl that seemed to be every pin-up fantasy come to life, I've simply had to deal with that time-wasting sort of thing.

But, I guess I'm telling all of you this because I just heard the best pick-up line in my life.

 

[]

 

I was sitting on a plane, and I had already heard two completely unoriginal lines: once in the airport bar and the other while we were waiting in line to board.

I was staring out the window when three guys sat beside me (well, one, but his friends sat in the middle section next to him).

I didn't really pay attention to them, but, apparently, they really paid attention to me.

The guy who sat down next to me was average looking—there wasn't really anything else to say about him. He had no outstanding features, and was incredibly forgettable. Y'know, except for the fact that I remember him right now.

He didn't speak to me until we took off, but he was whispering with his friends for a long time.

Finally, he turned to me, squirmed in his seat, then choked out, "Excuse me?"

I couldn't wait to hear this gem. "Yes?" I asked politely—he seemed really nervous.
 

"Y-You're so sweet…" he frowned, already fumbling over his words. 

"Um…you'll…you'll put Hershey out of…of business!!" he finally got out.

I smiled warmly. "Thank you." Then focused back on the window.

This flight could not end fast enough.

 

[]

 

They switched seats about an hour later, once the nervous guy realized that he was done.

This time, it was a weird guy.

It was like the soul of a creepy fifty year-old man had inhabited the body of a creepy twenty-something man.

He looked like he lived in his mother's basement.

He smiled sickeningly at me, then spoke smoothly. "Do you have a band-aid?"

I answered. At this point in my life, why not? "Sorry, no. Why?"

"I scraped my knee falling for you."

I had to think about that one.

I smiled and thanked him before giving him the same treatment as I gave his friend.

Once he had looked away, I dove for my journal of pick up lines. I read through it slowly, and I almost missed it. It was at the end. I was almost disappointed.

Almost.

The three guys started whispering again, and I started counting down until the next seat change.

 

[]

 

It happened an hour later.

This guy was the most attractive of them all (which wasn't really saying much). He was an average guy, not really fangirl material, but not really hideous either. He had a kind face. That was a little shocking, considering that he was friends with band-aid guy.

He didn't speak to me.

That was really shocking.

I don't mean to sound pompous or anything, but, two out of three times, guys will give me a crappy pick-up line within minutes of his entering my general vicinity.

I was little nervous, and, for the first time in a long time, I was self-conscious.

I began inspecting my reflection in the little window, but it really wasn't of any help.

He didn't even look at me for two hours.

 

[]

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning our final descent into Williamsburg, so, if you could all please fasten your seatbelts, the attendants will be along with trash bags in a moment." One of the guys in the cockpit announced, sounding very bored.

I chanced a glance at the guy next to me—he was actually really concentrated on his seatbelt.

I sighed, forcing myself to not care.

Finally, I heard him talk. "Okay, I'm going to give this a go."

I started, not expecting him to speak.

His eyes almost burned (as cheesy as it sounds) with determination.

I felt like a deer in headlights.

"You're beautiful, okay?" He was blunt.

I flushed—no one had ever said it like that.

"And, I know that I have no chance, and that I've been spending these last five hours trying to think of the best pick-up line ever, one that will make your knees knock and make you fall head over heels for me, but I can't. And, you know what?"

I didn't even try to answer--he was having a rhetorical conversation.

"You're a human being. I mean, don't you deserve that respect? And, really, I'm sure you've heard every one. So, I can't possibly come up with anything original to impress someone like you! So, I guess, what I'm trying to say here is that I'd like to buy you a drink or something and actually get to know you without trying some cheesy, horrible line!"

I don't think that he had breathed during that entire little rant, because he was gasping loudly and deeply as soon as he finished, and that took awhile.

I thought about his little tirade all the time until we landed a few minutes later, and then I smiled at him.

"Sure."

I thought his neck would snap, his head turned so quickly. "What?"

"A drink sounds nice." I gave him my best smile.

He flushed madly. "Oh…okay…great!" he chuckled nervously. "Um…" he stared at the ground a moment before looking back at me and sticking his hand out. "Felix."

I assumed that was his name. "Skye."

Hopefully, he figured that was my name.

"Great!" Felix grinned, trying to jump to his feet in his haste.

I cringed.

Once he was okay, though, I smiled at him.

He seemed nice enough, and I knew right away that that particular line wasn't in my journal.

Oh crap, I'll have to rewrite that all down later!!